A day in the life of Laurel

This blog has been much on my mind this week, while also exploring various Yahoo features designing the email (and more?) class that I will be teaching at the library at the end of September. One of my Shamanism groups has a new web home at spaces.msn.com which lets you create a journal, photo albums, and lots of lists. Now Yahoo has come out with a beta version of the same thing which they are calling 360°, and I have created a page for myself. How I will use it, I don't exactly know yet. I don't need to duplicate THIS blog. I am also not sure how people get to it. I think they have to be invited, and become a "member" which I don't like. If that is the case, it seems useless to me. Perhaps I could create a website instead, but that is more work than I want to do at the moment.

While adding content to my Yahoo start page this morning -- looking for Welsh newspapers -- my search came across a blog titled A Life in Wales. The writing is beautifully contemplative, almost reminding me of Thoreau's On Walden Pond. I was sucked in immediately and read the entire blog from first entry to last. It is written by a woman my age who lives with two cats, ponders her inner life and the world around her, struggles with a chronic illness, and talks about the pull of a place that feels like home (western Ireland in her case.) I felt a deep connection and decided to send her an email. Meanwhile tears were running down my face, saying "pay attention -- there is something here for you." I added it to my page so that I will know whenever it has been updated.

It all got me thinking again about my blog, and how I have not yet gone where I intended to go with it, although my post about the Other side of the coin is an attempt to get back on track. Not that it has to have a "track" -- it is just my life as it happens. And life has a lot of detours, that is for sure. Anyway, the woman who writes A Life in Wales illustrates her blog with digital photographs. I have wanted a digital camera for some time now. One of things I want to be able to do is take pictures of my beaded flowers in progress and use them to illustrate the patterns I want to publish. I've taken pictures with my SLR Canon Rebel and can scan them into the computer for posting, BUT it is singularly difficult to get good pictures of the flowers. I might take a whole roll of pictures only to get it back from the developer and discover that none of them are any good. It's hard to get the lighting right, and eliminate the shadows from using flash, etc.

So I spent the next few hours online looking at reviews of digital cameras and what features I need. Naturally I want to get the best I can get, not a cheap one. I haven't used any credit in well over a year now, although it has only been about 6 months since the bankruptcy. I have a Best Buy card -- I bought my computer with it five years ago and it is long since paid off. So I thought "Well -- maybe it's time to charge something not too expensive -- in the $300 range or less -- and use the payments to start rebuilding my credit rating." That's what the books recommend doing anyway. On the other hand, I have used SLR cameras my whole life, and don't really like the point and shoot variety. But digital SLR cameras are still very expensive...

So I went to Best Buy. (BTW -- I found a penny as I was getting into my car.) The first thing I did was go to customer service. I wanted to know how much camera I could afford with payments of no more than $25 a month. Well since I haven't used the card in several years I was told it has expired. I applied for a new one. It was declined. Figures. I guess it is still too soon after the bankruptcy. I'll be getting a letter explaining the reason. Perhaps it's for the best. The model I "really" wanted isn't available from Best Buy. Still, I had anticipated the fun of trying out different models at the store. I still could have, but I didn't. I came home feeling discouraged. I shouldn't feel that way. I already have an extra $200 from the extra days of work in my last paycheck.

On the way home, deep in my thoughts of frustration and failure, I was startled by a loud thwack on the side of the car. Some kid had thrown a rock at me!!! I turned my head and watched him bolt. What the hell?? What was his intent? He could have shattered the window. Fortunately, he missed. What drew this experience to me? What thoughts do I need to pay attention to? If it's true we create our reality, what does this mean? I haven't come up with anything yet. Except that I need to let go of the frustration (and maybe buried anger?) about where my life IS at the moment.

I picked up my mail on the way in. And noticed a little package from someone I know through the Michael lists. From rocks being thrown at me, to unexpected presents in the space of 30 minutes. What warranted this gift? It seems she used to belong to The Spiritual Cinema Circle (www.SpiritualCinemaCircle.com) and was sending me a DVD of a feature film made in Wales, saying "I couldn't think of anyone but you who would enjoy it more." I smiled at the synchronicity of that with the Welsh blog from this morning. And for the second time today I had tears running down my face.