The Power of Thought

It always amazes me when a stray thought becomes reality within a very short time, while the things we struggle to obtain seem to be always out of reach. If I love subbing so much, why can't I manifest work every day? Why can't I turn it into a full-time job? Yet when I ask for a parking place, or send a thought out about something fun that I want, it shows up the next day! The Universe definitely seems to respond to fun and playfulness. Detachment is a necessary element, and I haven't figured out how to detach myself when the outcome is "important" to me.

Last week's temp job opportunity came to nothing. It was not a good match and I would have hated it. I spent five hours on Wednesday trying to do data entry faster and faster, knowing that it would never be fast enough, and thinking how unpleasant it would be to have to worry about that for 8 hours a day, every day.... Still, when the supervisor sent me home saying it wasn't going to work, I felt like I had failed at something and wanted to cry. The saving grace was that on the way home I sent out a fleeting thought -- "Wouldn't it be nice to get home and have a subbing request waiting for me...." That's all. I didn't dwell on it, or even think of it again until I got home and checked my email. Lo and behold, there was! If I try to do this every day, however, it doesn't work. The feeling behind it is different.

Yesterday I drove to Holmen, Wisconsin to interview for the full-time cataloging position with La Crosse County libraries. The La Crosse area is spectacularly beautiful. I make a point of going that direction whenever I go to Geneva to visit my sister just so I can enjoy the scenic beauty crossing the Mississippi River there where glaciers never covered the hills. The interview lasted two hours and seemed to go quite well. Whether or not it is a good match -- I don't know. People keep asking me if I "want" the job. That was even the last question from the interviewers: "If you were offered the position today, would you take it?" My honest answer was: "Relocating is a big decision to make, and I cannot give you an instant answer. I would need time to think about it." So what do I think about it? As far as what I want right now, it's a step in the right direction, and it could open up some interesting possibilities outside of the job aspect. I don't see it as an end in itself, which isn't good or bad, but it's not something that stirs my passion. Maybe that doesn't matter. I'm more interested in comfortable security, at least for the time being. Something I've had far too little of in my life so far. At worst, the job would be somewhat boring. If plans go through to become part of a regional network, I would not be "allowed" to do any original cataloging. In the meantime, I'd be updating my cataloging skills. So it's not a job I'm hoping I don't get. I feel wide open to it, allowing it to be, if it aligns with whatever is the best possible outcome.

Still, perhaps I was feeling just a little bit disappointed on the drive home. This time the thought I sent out was: "If I'm going to do cataloging, I'd like to be able to use my languages more." Presto! Today I got a call out of the blue from The Language Lab. Somebody wanted to have something translated from Welsh to English. The Language Lab found my name on the internet. So tomorrow a woman is coming over with her family Bible and will pay me $30 to translate a few paragraphs written in Welsh in the front of the Bible. Sounds fun!

So do I want the job? I don't know, but I'm willing to play!